Why Is There A Problem That Needs Fixing?

Elderpride: Chapter 1

We all know there is a problem in America’s nursing homes, we read about it in the newspapers, we hear about it on the evening news, we experience it when we visit an elder member of our family who is a nursing home patient. We might not be able to put our finger on every aspect of the problem but we know it is there – haunting us.

It is complex.

We may have an epiphany when we visit our grandmother, or our father who is a patient in a skilled nursing facility and notice that there are patients calling out and no one answers; or perhaps we take note that patients are lined up in front of the TV, but no one seems to be watching; or it might be that our own family member seems to have “lost it” after one short week in a nursing home. Perhaps we have read about elder abuse in the papers, or heard on the evening news about an elder patient’s spouse who brings a gun to the facility to end the misery.

And we ask for a brief second, “How did we get here?” But then our busy life takes over and we don’t think about it again until the next time we have to visit someone who is in a nursing home. And we hope against all hope that this won’t be us; the more determined of us tell ourselves we will find a way to be taken care of without becoming a nursing home patient. And, for a lot of us, it’s a long way away – years – and things will certainly be changed by then we tell each other.

And we know deep down that it is complex … too complex for us to fix. We have no clue how to get our hands around it and so we continue to turn our heads the other way. Even if we wish we could fix the problems, somehow we know that it is beyond our individual selves and we certainly don’t know where to begin.

Over the next few weeks I am going to attempt to make the complex more simple because I think if more of us could understand the problem, how we got here and what some of the solutions are, then we can work on a solution and do what it takes to fix it so that our mothers, our grandmothers, our fathers and grandfathers won’t have to live in such a situation.

Let’s start with – IT IS NOBODY”S FAULT. It is a systemic problem that has evolved over time. And previous attempts to fix it have failed, perhaps because no one understood what the problem was to begin with. I think at least 75% of being able to solve a problem is identifying what the right problem is. And as simple as that sounds, it has been my experience that more often than not most people don’t identify the right problem when trying to find a solution … to anything!

It would be the easy way out to blame the people who run or work in nursing homes… or the children who don’t pay attention to their elderly parent’s needs… or the physicians who oversee care ...or the government for not paying enough dollars for nursing home care… or our legislators for not listening… or our most intelligent university minds for not arriving at the right solution.

It is both all those things and none of those things! And we can’t have a solution without addressing all of these things. That is one of the things that makes this so very difficult. Creating change that has so many tentacles will not be easy – that is why, it will take a nation.

I invite comments and questions on this blog because it is my mission here to create understanding of a very complex issue – questions and comments will let me know if I am hitting home, or have more “splainin’ to do” – to quote a famous comedian.